I have been asked if I was sad to learn that Viktor is autistic, or, essentially, angry at the universe for having to raise an autistic child.
The answer to both is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT.
They are, and always have been, one of the coolest human beings I’ve ever met. I’ve learned so much about myself, psychology, and humanity by having them in my life. They help me to see the world from a different perspective, from the minutia to the stars. I have so much more empathy for people and their different situations and brains than I ever did. My life is better because they are in it.
Also, they are brilliantly hilarious and I have laughed more with them then I ever did before they arrived. We are never bored.
There are certainly hard parts, because Viktor’s kind of brain isn’t as well understood as a neurotypical brain (which is, itself, not all that well understood.) Even before a diagnosis, we’ve had to do social gymnastics to get Viktor’s needs met – they never really have fit in the societal box that most kids are supposed to fit into, and trying to cram them into it is a bad move for everyone involved.
Do they require more “work” than a neurotypical child would? Probably. But I didn’t sign up to be a parent with the expectation that it would be a walk in the park. They’ve been a little extra since conception, honestly.
The only thing that makes me sad is how some other people treat them. For now, they’ve got me and Tyme (and even their little sister) to go to bat for them if their body and brain are done with fighting. But I worry about what it’s going to be like when they are on their own and come across people who don’t want to work with someone whose quirks require a bit of flexibility on their part. Some people really hate having to be flexible.
I think that’s why I wanted to share some of the bigger information I’ve learned about autism with you guys… in case you meet someone like Viktor and you’re not sure how to interact with them. I’m hoping that you’ll have a little more empathy and understanding, and perhaps make their day go a little more smoothly.
But yeah. Viktor is freaking great and I’m so glad that I’m their mom. I’m thankful that we have one another.
By the by, it’s fucking rude to ask a parent if they are sad that their child isn’t “normal.”